


on the water

by labeledbones



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-10-07 13:44:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10361769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/labeledbones/pseuds/labeledbones
Summary: He lies down on the floor of the boat, the way Gabe showed him one day. “Come here,” he says to Lukas, motioning for him to lie down going the opposite direction, just their heads next to each other.The sky is pink turning blue, no clouds, but Philip’s looking at Lukas. “Hi,” he says quietly.Lukas laughs in response. “Hi,” he says.Philip and Lukas out on the boat. Fluff ensues.





	

Eventually Philip goes out on the water with Gabe. And then he goes again, and again, and again. Until he can row the damn boat himself, his arms aching afterward, a good ache, burning deep down in his muscles. He grows stronger this way. He becomes less afraid of things that might hurt him. He looks down at the water and doesn’t think about slipping under, down into its depths; he thinks about how it buoys him, keeps him moving forward. 

Gabe relents and starts letting him go out alone. The first time he gets out to the middle of the water and nearly panics, looking at how far from the dock he’s gone. But then he closes his eyes and listens to the sound of the water hitting the side of the boat, and he’s okay. 

Gabe relents again and lets him go out with Lukas. And Philip rows them out to the middle and stops. 

“So what do we do now?” Lukas asks, looking around them. 

It’s early and everything is still quiet and still, the sun coming up slowly over the trees, birds calling out to each other. 

Philip shrugs. “We just take it in,” he says, breathing in deep. 

Lukas looks at Philip. “It’s pretty nice out here, I guess.” 

Philip smiles, closing his eyes. “Peaceful,” he says. 

“Like when you would run the water in the sink?”  Philip opens his eyes again and looks at Lukas. “Yeah.” 

He lies down on the floor of the boat, the way Gabe showed him one day. “Come here,” he says to Lukas, motioning for him to lie down next to him. 

The sky is pink turning blue, no clouds, but Philip’s looking at Lukas. “Hi,” he says quietly.

Lukas laughs in response. “Hi,” he says. “Should we do an _emotional status update_?” he asks, quoting his therapist.

Philip rolls his eyes, but smiles. “Okay. You first.”

“Right now I’m feeling. . . Happy that I’m out here with you,” he says. 

Philip looks at him. “And…?” The rules are that you’re not supposed to let the other person off with an easy answer, with just one simple feeling. The exercise is supposed to force you to really think about how you’re feeling. They make fun of it but it’s actually been helpful. They’re both guilty of hiding how they’re feeling, not communicating it properly. 

Lukas sighs. “And I’m also feeling, uh, scared a little bit? Or just nervous or something?” 

“About what?” 

Lukas reaches out to brush a stay piece of hair off of Philip’s forehead, leaves his hand there, fingers combing through Philip’s hair. He opens his mouth to speak and closes it again, does this about three times before saying, “You’re my best friend.” 

Philip softens, pressing the side of his face into Lukas’ hand. “You’re mine, too.” 

“I’m your only friend,” Lukas grins.

“Fuck you. Rose likes me,” Philip says. “Don’t try to distract us from your feelings.” 

Lukas’ smile fades a little. “I guess I’m just sitting here thinking that right now? Everything is perfect. Okay, maybe not _perfect_ , obviously. But this is a good moment, being here, with you? I’m happier than I’ve been in a really really long time. Like, since I was a little kid.” 

“So what are you afraid of?” 

“What if we break up?” 

“I don’t know,” Philip answers honestly.  

“This is where you’re supposed to say we’re not going to break up,” Lukas says, shoving him lightly, the boat swaying with the motion. 

Philip laughs. “I’m just trying to be realistic. We’re 16-”

“I’m 17.” 

Philip gives him a look. “Okay, whatever. We’re young. We might break up. But we’re together now.” 

Lukas looks away, his eyes going a little sad. “I don’t want to break up.” 

“Me neither,” Philip smiles, tilting his head forward to kiss Lukas. 

“No,” Lukas says, kissing Philip again because he can’t help it, can never let it just be one kiss. “I mean, not ever. I don’t wanna be with someone else.” 

Philip doesn’t say anything, just looks at him. He’s learned in the past year that he can’t predict what’s going to happen and he shouldn’t try. He has no idea what will happen to him and Lukas, or even what’s going to happen tomorrow. 

“When did you know you liked me?” he asks after a while, trying to steer the conversation back to good things. He thinks he already knows the answer, but he wants to hear it from Lukas anyway. 

“Right away?” Lukas says, sounding uncertain. “Like, I saw you walk into class and I just wanted you.”

“Okay, so you thought I was attractive then, but when did you realize it was, I don’t know, more?” 

“The first time we ever hung out. I just remember thinking I wanted to keep hanging out. Like, forever. I didn’t know if you were actually gay then, but I knew there was something about you that made me feel connected.” 

Philip nods, thinking. He remembers the first time they hung out. He was supposed to be shooting footage of Lukas’ practice but instead they just sat in the grass and talked until it got dark. Philip hadn’t talked to anyone his age who wasn’t another damaged foster kid in a really long time. He was surprised to find that talking to Lukas was easy, natural. 

“I definitely knew you were gay then,” Philip says. 

Lukas laughs, sitting up a little, the boat swaying again, back and forth. “What?” 

Philip is laughing too. “There was literally no other reason for you to come up to me that first time. You weren’t being subtle at all.” 

“Shit,” Lukas says, lying back down. “Seriously?”

“Yeah.” Philip turns his head and kisses Lukas. “You found me at the grocery store. You literally stalked me and figured out where I went and then found me in the cereal aisle to ask me to take pictures of you? That’s the gayest thing in the world, Lukas.” 

Lukas doesn’t say anything, just leans over and kisses Philip again and again. “Fine,” he says, against Philip’s mouth. “You got me.” 

Lukas goes quiet and then asks, “What about you? When did you know you liked me?”

“Do you remember the first time I got on the bike with you?” 

Lukas nods. 

“It was then. Something about having my arms around you, feeling your heart beating, the speed of the bike, the noise of it blocking out everything going on in my head. I fell in love then. It felt like the easiest thing.”

Lukas is looking at him, his lips parted, eyes dark and serious. “Philip?” 

“Yeah.” 

Lukas shifts closer to Philip, resting their foreheads together. One of his hands goes to the back of Philip’s head, tangling in his hair. “I really really love you,” he says. 

Philip doesn’t know why but he starts crying. It happens a lot these days, crying suddenly, for reasons he can’t quite pin down.

“Don’t cry,” Lukas says in a really quiet voice. He drags a thumb across Philip’s cheek, catching the tear coming down there. 

Philip laughs. “I think this is good crying,” he says. 

Lukas smiles a little. “Yeah?” 

Philip nods, sniffling and wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. “Sorry,” he says. “I guess I really love you too.” 

They both lie back and look up at the sky above them, feeling the gentle motion of the boat in the water, the breeze moving against their skin. Philip reaches over and takes Lukas’ hand in his. He closes his eyes and breathes. 

“So, we’re not going to break up, right?” Lukas says, breaking the silence.   

Philip doesn’t open his eyes. He squeezes Lukas’ hand and feels Lukas squeeze back. “Never,” he says, making a promise he isn’t sure he can keep. He’ll try his best though.


End file.
